Mystery Lover
by sa1boy
Summary: There seems a mystery maker in Hogwarts. Students all over the school receive telephone calls in the weirdest of circumstances. The caller says something to make Neville look like his secret had been revealed. Draco is intrigued, Harry seems bored. What h


There seems a mystery maker in Hogwarts; Neville receives a telephone call in the weirdest of circumstances. The caller said something to make Neville look like his secret had been revealed. What happens when the mysterious person decides to visit other parts of the school? Draco has also decided he has fallen for the obvious to him 'straight' Harry Potter, but that won't stop our blonde bombshell, will it?

Standard disclaimer, I own nothing of the HP universe.

Breakfast in the great hall, was a joyous occasion for most, but not for the Sleepy Risers. You know the sort, wake up three minutes before they are due in class, needing to have drunk their fifth cup of strong coffee, before they could function adequately and then, just about managing to arrive seconds before the detention is handed out.

On the other side of the coin we have the Early Risers.

Quite a few of the Early Risers, you know the sort - wake with the Lark, always have bags of morning energy etc… Would sit, alert, and watchful, for the Sleepy Risers to arrive; quietly wondering what state the sleepiest amongst them, would be in that day.

This morning was no different to any other. The hall was three quarters full and already bustling at near capacity as all the Sleepy Risers were starting to drift in. As always, the last one to take his seat was Harry Potter. He was watched, as always, by the first to arrive in the hall, Draco Malfoy.

Harry sluggishly took his seat. With a couple of muttered "I hate mornings," and other daily gripes he took his customary piece of already buttered toast, slouched down at the Gryffindor table and chomped away.

Draco, feeling the actions of his secret fantasies such a turn on, watched as Harry swallowed the warm toast; secretly gasping as he saw the escaped butter roll off his bottom lip, and drip seductively down his chin. He had watched this same half-awake routine from the boy he had become infatuated with, everyday for the past 6 months. Today was just as erection inducing as every other day he had ogled his dream boy.

Draco hadn't always found Harry as intoxicating. On the contrary, he had quite disliked him for most of his teenage years; he never got to the hate stage though, as with all pure blood wizards hate was a condition that couldn't be over come.

Harry was very powerful and Draco, not being a fool, had realised this early in life. Being a true Malfoy brought with it a certain responsibility for the self-preservation of his own Malfoy line. It was highly probable that later in their lives they would have course to be involved in some way or other. Draco secretly hoped that that would be with Harry's legs in the air with his cock firmly imbedded in him. But just in case that fantasy didn't play out he decided that keeping a civil distance was the more preferred way to treat him. As soon as he had realised it was prudent to watch Harry instead of fight with him, a different Draco immerged. One that realised he was attracted to this grumpy little Sleepy Riser before him.

Blaise Zabini, his only real friend, had watched Draco go through this same covert hero worship, from the time it started, and had given up trying to understand why Draco would go for the scruffy look of Potter.

"Ewwww Harry, I lurvvvvvv you." Blaise teasingly whispered in his friend's ear, knowing quite well, he was likely to get an elbow in the ribs for his cheek. (Little did Blaise know, Draco loved the teasing just as much he did). He felt somehow comforted knowing that someone knew he was in love with Harry, and it being Blaise, assured a certain level of discretion.

Right on cue the owl post arrived. Swooping into the Great Hall like they always did. With their deft accuracy, the sheer elegance of the birds in flight was a fascination to all that witnessed the display. A terrifyingly huge black owl with white ghost like markings on its face swooped in and dropped a package in front of Ron Weasley, Harry's best friend. The owl, being as big and as scary as it was big, made quite an impression on the whole room. All accept the Sleepy Risers of course. Harry in particular hardly seemed to notice.

Ron took the parcel and started to open it. A quizzed look appeared on Ron's face when he looked in the box and took out the contents. It was a slim plastic and metal device. Ron was sure that Hermione owned one similar, a fact that was assured when she, looking over his shoulder matter-of-factly said, "It's a mobile phone. Muggles use them like we would use the floo network or the owl post. It is a device that a person can use to talk to another person from anywhere else in the world."

As she was putting her head back into the book she was reading, Ron picked the phone up, and showed it off rather proudly to the others at his table and any other wizards or witches close enough to see.

"What have you got Weasel? Another antiquated relic your pathetic father has stolen from those filthy Muggles?" Draco chipped in to laughs that resounded around the Slytherin table. (it was widely known that Ron's dad was a Muggle object freak and had filled the family home with all sorts of Muggle contraptions and bric-a-brac)

"Ignore him Ron. He's just jealous." Harry said, throwing a smouldering look at Malfoy that reduced his once fearsome nemesis to slumping back in his chair. 'He's acting really weird lately' Harry thought, as Ron carried on showing off his new toy. Showing off, that is until out of nowhere the object started to make a sound. As if acting on instinct, 50 wands immediately drew in its direction. Ron was looking scared out of his brains. The phone was vibrating to the oddest of sounds.

"Cover your ears students it's a curse!" Professor McGonagall screamed out.

The noise coming from it reminded Harry of the theme tune to a Muggle TV programme he liked, something about police men in Miami, joined with what could only possibly be an enchanted singing frog. As the phone made a very weird sound, its vibration alert started, Ron chucked the phone up into the air. Everyone near shot their arm in the air trying to catch it.

"Really! It's just the phones ring tone. It's not a musical curse from the dark scary one. Give me that phone!" Hermione grabbed the phone and put it to her ear. You could have heard a pin drop as everyone watched.

"Hello. Who is this?" Hermione asked. Professor's Snape and McGonagall, had drifted over to where the commotion was to see what the fuss was about, and now looked on with interest.

"Ten points to be taken away from Gryffindor for being a reckless know it all, Miss Granger." Spat Severus Snape, who was hiding just shy of McGonagall's left shoulder.

"Ock! And they say chivalry is dead, Severus…" The Gryffindor head of house added, as she kept her eyes focussed on Hermione.

Hermione smiled at her head of house, as she listened to the voice talking to her. Turning to look around the room, she motioned to Neville to take the phone, "He wants you Neville."

Neville, finding courage from god only knew where, walked over and took the phone from Hermione. He had his wand out, and was mentally preparing to strike at what evil foe was inside. Neville put the phone to his ear and greeted his unknown caller

"Hello, Neville speaking."

The voice on the end of the line said just two words. Neville dropped the phone and looked like all the blood had drained out of his face.

He turned and shakily clung to the table; questions flew at him from all directions as he put his head in his hands and started to cry,

"How does he know? I've never told anyone. How does he know?" Neville looked like he had just been given the worst sort of bad news. Harry walked around the table to where Severus Snape was stood over Neville, glaring a hole into the back of his head.

"What did the caller say Longbottom? Speak now or you will be very sorry indeed."

"Leave him alone, Snape!" Harry said. He knew Neville was petrified of the Potions master and wasn't going to allow him to be bullied, not by Snape anyway.

"How dare you refer to me by my surname, Potter? That will be fifty points from Gryffindor, and detention for you and Shortarse for a week. NOW GET TO CLASS!" Turning on the spot Snapes robes billowed majestically as he departed.

Harry rushed over to where Neville sat trembling. All backed away for the hero of Gryffindor as he checked on his friend and shouted,

"Give him space! Give him space I said! Nev, are you ok?" Harry's words were gentle and warming for his friend. Draco, unnoticed, stood just behind Harry inhaling deeply the scent of his fantasy, 'Oh to kiss you all over Harry Potter' wishing that he had received the disturbing news on the telephone.

"What did it say mate? Do you want to talk about it?"

Neville looked up at Harry with eyes glazing over and shrugged his shoulders, "Maybe later."

Suddenly, phone self ignited and disappeared in a puff of smoke. It seemed that the two words the mobile phone had issued were not going to be common knowledge this morning anyway.

Harry's curiosity, like the rest of the assembled students, was peaked. He couldn't wait to hear what it was, that the voice could have said, to have had such a reaction. But he would respect his friend's choice and wait for the time being.

"Come on, Neville. Let's go to classes." Hermione said, leading the way, a clutch of Gryffindors following.

Potions class was the first class of the day and another opportunity for Blaise to be jocular with Draco, who had now taken to sitting just behind Harry and Ron. Crabbe and Goyle had even forgotten what it was like to intimidate the Gryffindor wonder boy. Their leader didn't really seem interested anymore in picking on Harry, which they both were happy with since it allowed them to indulge more time to themselves. They had, for the past 6 months, been having a secret relationship that was both loving and fulfilling for both. They were never as stupid as they tried to make people believe. But stupid is as stupid does and the more in character they stayed the more everyone ignored them.

"Harry I lurvvvvvv you. I want to have your babies." Blaise teased in Draco's ear, prompting Draco to elbow him discretely in the ribs and throw a Malfoy death glare in his direction. Seeing the thrown elbow, Crabbe and Goyle went to rise out of their respective seats on cue to offer their leader their services. Draco quickly motioned silently for them to sit down.

"Fuck off, Zabini! You are only jealous that I'm going to have the Golden Boy inside me some day." Draco whispered back at him.

"You better hurry then. It looks like someone is trying to get their first." Blaise said, drawing Draco's attention to a flying note heading Harry's way.

A piece of paper shaped like a moth soared into the air in front of Harry. He caught it discretely just before the Potions master, Severus Snape saw it. The note caught Draco's eye, too. He found himself jealous that somebody else would have the nerve to send his Harry a love note. He looked around, keeping his mask of indifference firmly in place, for any sign of whom in the class had the cheek to try and make a move on his man. But he noticed no change in any person's demeanour, or an apparent sender, waiting for a reaction. So, returned his attention to watching the back of Harry's head, in the hope that he would give something away.

Harry opened the paper just as Snape turned to look at him. His attempt at deception by quickly stuffing the note into his sleeve failed. Snape had spotted him.

"The note Potter. Give it to me."

Harry tried to argue that he didn't know what the Potions master was actually talking about.

"It was only a tissue," he lied.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for lying. Take that note. Take it out, Potter, this instant and read it aloud. Do. It. Potter, or I will deduct an additional fifty points from your house. Do I make myself… Clear?"

Angry whispers echoed around the room. Hermione was glaring at Harry, a look that mirrored the steam that seemed to be coming out of her ears. He had no idea what the note contained but couldn't chance that Snape would deduct more points. The students in Gryffindor would blame him even though he hadn't done anything. Taking the note out, he straightened the paper and held it in a way that the Potions master could also see the words. To the class he read the three words on the sheet,

"Answer the phone!"

Harry turned the paper in his hand and passed it to Snape, who, like Harry, along with the rest of the class, seemed baffled at the strange one line.

"What is the meaning of this Potter? What phone is this note speaking of?" Snape demanded, feeling that Harry knew more than he was saying about these… these phones.

Almost as soon as Snape had asked where the telephone in question was, ringing filled the dungeon classroom. Unlike the chirpy ring tone from Neville's call this was a standard ringing sound. Like before, the sudden outburst of sound was met with raised wands and a nervous Neville Longbottom blowing up a vat of bats wings.

Perched on Severus Snapes desk was a black, old-fashioned, candlestick Muggle telephone. It was the sort the professor had seen in black and white movies. The phone seemed to vibrate with each ring. Every one looked toward the phone in silence; you could have heard a pin drop. Snape, who was rather timidly standing behind Potter, who, as the boy who lived, seemed to find himself at the head of the class. Pushed Harry forward.

"Earn your bloody hero points, Potter. Answer that thing!"

Snape moved back a step. The rest of the class followed his lead, all except Draco. Seeing this as an opportunity to show to Harry that he was not a prat Draco moved forward standing at his hero's side. His wand now out-stretched, Harry nodded to his new ally, but secretly put this action down as another entry in the Malfoy's gone weird list, stretched out his hand to the receiver.

"I've got your back, Potter." Draco softly said, finding that he was actually getting an erection simply by playing with those words in his head. Then quickly shaking his mind into the now, he watched as Harry carefully lifted the receiver off the brass bracket and placed the device to his ear speaking slowly and cautiously into the mouthpiece.

"Be careful, Harry!" was shouted by a couple of his Gryffindor friends.

Turning to assure them he was fine, Harry could not help giving Malfoy a smile of thanks.

"Hello, who is this?" Harry asked, trying to sound in control.

Draco noticed that the phone was wireless. 'Having no leads or cables coming from it, it could only have been placed there,' he thought, 'by somebody inside Hogwarts' as Draco knew the wards of the castle would stop any out side influences. Draco made a mental note of this.

Harry placed the receiver on the table and turning to Professor Snape said,

"He wants to speak to you, sir!"

"What do you mean; it wants to speak to me? I know no Muggles, and no self-respecting wizard would use a device like this to communicate. Tell it to go away!"

Snape had a slightly worried tone in his voice that was expertly hid from most but not all, Draco and Harry heard the tones as if they were listening to a frightened child.

"It asked for you by name, sir! It said that it could only convey the message to you, sir. It would not speak to anyone but Severus Snape." Harry looked to Hermione and Ron as he said this and then returned his eyes to Draco, who again was doing the 'Draco has gone weird again' thing with his bottom lip.

"Shall I tell him you are indisposed, Professor?" Draco offered, a new sense of bravery coming over him, he was after all, 'out front' helping the saviour of the world, his world.

"That won't be necessary, Mr Malfoy." Snape replied, moving forward he went to pick up the receiver. The room was as silent as it could be, then all of a sudden… THUD! Neville fainted, Hermione and Ron rushed to his side, lifting his head and shaking him gently to bring him around

"Bloody typical. Granger, Weasley take Shortarse to the infirmary and the rest….Of…You…Sit…Down!"

The class didn't need telling twice. They all scrambled for their seats, Harry and Draco included.

"Not you Potter, or you Draco." Snape said as he lifted the receiver. He may need support they were the most powerful wizards in the room. It was not cowardice that he would request their back up… it was good Slytherin instincts.

"I will require statements off you both," he inwardly smirked, believing that the statement hid the fact that he was actually scared of what the phone may say,

"Severus Snape. Who is interrupting my class? Be…. Very….. Afraid….. If I find out whom you - " Snape was cut short, his legs went shaky and he clung to the desk.

Draco pulled a chair up for his professor as Snape shouted, "Class dismissed…GET OUT!"

Harry pulled out his wand to bind the telephone so that tests could be carried out on it but before he could speak the binding spell it burst into flames and blew up in a puff of smoke. Looking at Snape, who looked like he had seen a ghost, Harry saw just how the words on the other end of the line had obviously disturbed the man.

'How did it know? He had not acted on these urges in twenty years. How could anyone know?' Severus thought to himself.

The two words the speaker had whispered echoed within his head long after he had excused Potter and Malfoy.

"You're gay."

The KNOCK at the door to the potions classroom brought Severus out of his thoughts. Stealing himself, he answered it after replacing the billowing charm on his robes. With a sigh he said, "What do you want? Oh, it's…you!"

"Nice to see you are recovered from your fright, Severus. May I come in?" Severus looked down at the twinkled eyes that annoyed him so much.

Professor Dumbledore had long past become immune to the caustic tongue of his Potion professor and head of Slytherin house. For so long now, the odd snippy remarks bounced off him like water off a ducks back. Concerned about the mysterious phone calls, and let's face it – being just damn nosey, he asked,

"I have just heard that the same mystery telephone prankster has visited at least another four classrooms and corridors this morning already. I'm not quite sure what the message spoken was on any of these occasions, as I can't seem to get any of the victims to speak up. Tell me, Severus! What did the caller say to you?"

"I…can't…REME.BERrrrrr" Snape spat, drawing the last word out in a sneer, his eyes glaring like two dense pieces of the purest jet.

"It's such an inconvenience today. I had lots planned for this morning." Dumbledore added in his typical flighty way.

"Oh. Do. Please. Tell." Mocked Snape in the most uninterested tone he could muster, eliciting a further, even larger twinkle from the famous left eye of the headmaster.

"I was clicking my heels together thinking of Kansas and of my friend Dorothy. I was actually having a gay old day. Then, in the middle of my thoughts, I get fire called by Professor McGonagall to say that there were incidents involving several mysterious shaped plastic devices that vibrated until they were picked up. This naturally peaked my interest so much that when then Miss Granger alerted me of your unfortunate incident this morning, I just thought that perhaps you could shed some light on this situation?"

Severus Snape was fuming. Picture Draco Malfoy covered in mud that had been thrown on him by Ron Weasley, and you will only half imagine the feeling of rage that was boiling in the Slytherin professors chest. Snape tried to control his temper while at the same time making a mental note to hex Granger with a swollen tongue to stop her incessant blabbing.

"Oh, that is a shame! Oh well, I'll have to investigate this matter further. Will you report to my office in one hour please?" Dumbledore looked questioningly at Snape, but realising he was not going to get any further information decided to let it go. Until later that is.

"Tooddles, Severus." The headmaster said as he left the room, humming choruses of a song Severus distinctly thought sounded a little strange. 'I mean' he thought 'what the hell has a young man got to do with a hostel when he feels down when he's in a new town!' Putting it down to the old bastard just being eccentric, and half wondering if he knew what was mentioned on the phone and was trying to goad him, he slammed his door and went for a very long shower.

It was super time and the news going around the school like wild fire was of those ten pupils and two teachers, who had received the mysterious phone calls. Much, too every ones annoyance, no one wanted to divulge what was said. Harry had asked Neville who in response asked Harry if they could just forget about it. Neville wanted to pretend it was just a sick joke that someone had played on him.

The Weasley twins were in detention. Severus Snape had instantly thought they were behind his incident and believed a severe detention with Mr Filch would cure their pranks. Little did he know that they both received the same treatment as he? Whilst waxing the floor of corridor number four, Filch saw two phones appear on either side of a coat of arms. Answering one then the other he passed the twins the telephones, this time a slim hand free model and the other, a white unit with extra large numbers, both boys acting as all others before them with shock and dismay. It was only when Filch notified Snape of the phone calls that the boys detention was cancelled, it seemingly rule out their involvement in this mystery.

In the Great Hall, Dumbledore tapped his glass and the hall fell silent,

"It has come to my attention that we have a hoaxer in our mists, and a daring one at that. With the addition of Fred and George Weasley it now brings the total to fourteen pupils and staff, who have been targeted. Now although I do not want to embarrass any of you, I feel that it is important that I make sure no one has had an incident that has not been reported. It would appear, for what ever reason that the incidents happen in pairs, I will call out the pairings, and if anyone has any ideas as to what the connections, if any, to these people, please inform a member of staff immediately."

All around the hall faces started to blush, all except Professor Flitwick, who had nodded off, and Professor Snape, who was throwing death glares at anyone looking in his direction. Draco just looked lovingly at Harry all through this, wishing that he could get a detention in a room with a time delayed lock, and Harry as his only companion and the only liquid he could drink would be…

"Ouch, what did you do that for?" Draco growled under his breath at his friend Zabini.

"You are drooling on the table again, DRACO!" Zabini snapped back at him as Draco brought his mind back into the now as Dumbledore read out the students who had had incidents at the same time but in different parts of the school earlier that day.

"Neville Longbottom and Severus Snape -" Neville looked ashen, Snape furious.

""Parvati Patil, Millicent Bullstrode" Both girls looked like they could shrink into their glass of pumpkin juice and hide.

"Seamus Finnegan, Justin Finch Fletcher," Seamus winked a cheeky Irish grin at Justin, who raised his index finger in response.

"Madame Hooch, Hermione Granger," All Gryffindor eyes were on the space where Hermione had been sitting. She had quickly slunk out when she realised the professor was going to mention names. Harry and Ron began making mental notes to find her and ask why she had kept this secret.

"Susan George, Pansy Parkinson," With that pairing Blaise nudged Draco, "I think there is a pattern here Draco!"

Dumbledore read out the last 4 names before Blaise continued. "Gregory Goyle, Vincent Crabbe." Blaise sighed deeply in his seat, he thought he had it, but bar, not Draco's henchmen, they couldn't be, he had to be wrong, didn't he? He heard Dumbledore call out the Weasley twins name and pulling Draco along with him left the hall and returned to their dormitory.

"You are no fun, Blaise. I was having a wonderful dream about eating chocolate ice cream off Harry's, I mean Potter's bits." Draco looked like a boy with his toys taken away, but quickly snapped back in Slytherin prince mode when Blaise asked his next question.

"Are Greg and Vince shagging, or more to the point do you think that they want to shag each other?"

Draco to nearly swallow his tongue, after coughing he recovered enough to answer, "I'm not sure, I wouldn't like to think about it. Ewww, shut up. Why do you ask anyway?"

Obviously Draco's fantasy concerning Potter had numbed his brain at supper.

"Well think about it, the names, the link between the names" Draco still didn't get it. Blaise started to spell it out, "Every time the mystery phone showed up, it apparently followed close after by appearing to a different person. Now considering nobody wants to say what it said, it shows that it must have been personal"

"Or embarrassing." Draco added.

"Welcome back Sleeping Beauty." Blaise sarcastically said to Draco.

"So if we surmise that the message was the same, and the message as Dumbledore believes was delivered in pairs, then we can believe that the pairs are in some way linked."

"Go on…" Draco said as he was piecing together, the observations of his very cunning and observant friend.

"I mean, Snape is 'as camp as a row of tents.' and you can tell that Longarse would love nothing more than to be stretched to the nine heavens by him."

"Oh, Blaise talk dirty to me." Draco added with a giggling voice.

Blaise, ignoring him carried on, "Milli is as butch as a tree feller and Patil, doesn't have that moustache for nothing does she?"

Attempting to stem the laughter building inside, Draco urged him to continue, taking out a parchment and quill. He started to jot down the observations of his friend.

"I'm not sure about Granger; she is lacking any sexuality and is one bossy bitch. She probably, secretly wants to be tied up and dominated and we all know about Hooch, I mean she is a right nymphet."

"You are right there!" Draco chuckled.

"Finnegan I happen to know loves four fingers up his arse, but would die if a soul knew he didn't like the girls. And how many guys do you know that wear a leather hat and nose ring in private, not to mention nipple clamps, belly piercing, and Prince Albert."

Blaise continued with his summary of how Susan George would nearly feint when Pansy walked past and who having hands like a fisher man, Pansy made a fine keeper and that 'deep voice', that sounded like a fog horn on heat. Yep he was sure he had Pansy sussed.

"I don't get the last two though? The Weasley's. I don't believe it's incest do you?"

Draco didn't want to think of the Weasley family at all, but thought it a possibility as they had spent nearly every living minute by the others side, the chances of a sexual encounter between the two very unlikely. Draco surmised also that as all other incidents had occurred with witnesses present, it was highly unlikely that there were lone victims keeping quiet.

"That leads me to one conclusion!" Draco said excitedly.

"And that is?" Blaise prompted.

"The twins are behind this and if their little prank can get two people who like each other to get it on then there's only one thing for it."

Draco pulled his cloak back on and headed for the door. Looking back he said, "Coming?"

"Where are we going? We don't even know if we are correct, do we?""

Draco answered, as Blaise sprinted to keep up with him.

"Maybe we are, and maybe, we are not. But if the ginger-mingers are responsible, then I want them to do something for me or I will grass on them."

"Oh yea!" said Blaise pulling Draco to a halt.

"What can they do for you?"

"Keep the prank going! Or more importantly do at least one more prank." Draco had that all too familiar 'cat who got the cream' look on his face.

"One more prank?" Blaise said curiously.

"Oh Draco, you are evil. Who are you going to make suffer?"

Draco smirked at Blaise, giving his answer as he strolled off at top speed for the Gryffindor dorms and the twins.

"Not suffer. Make aware. I'm going to make them send two more phone messages. One for me, and one for Potter."

Draco tore off in the direction of the Gryffindor common room only to be stopped along the way by Professor Snape.

"Mr. Malfoy and friend what are you both doing in this part of the school?"

"Oh, I must have taken a wrong turn professor, I do apologise." Zabini said in a mock apologetic voice.

Snape squinted his eyes, and looked down his elongated snout at the pair.

"Perhaps a compass should be added to your birthday wish list, Mr Zabini. I suggest you both make your way back to the Slytherin domain."

With that last remark Severus Snape turned, his robes magically snapping to attention behind him, billowing beautifully as if caught in a breeze. Brining Draco's next comment,

"I never get tired of watching his robes billow out."

Their plans scuppered, they headed back to the Slytherin common room. Draco retired to his room to participate in his second favourite thing… Harry wanking. Over the past few months he had become very good at it. He went to sleep telling himself that by this time tomorrow Harry would be his.

That night in all of their respective dorm rooms, each of the fourteen pupils and teachers woke with a start. Millicent, George, Seamus, Vince, Pansy, Snape and Hermione all felt like somebody had pulled their hair. Thinking it must have been a dream they drifted back to sleep. Neville, Hooch, Susan, Greg, Parvati, Justin and Fred all woke feeling as if they had been scratched but again as soon as they realised they were okay drifted back to sleep again,

Lurking in a secret room far away from any prying eyes, secure in the knowledge that nobody knew they were there; the mysterious prankster was conjuring up a brew. It was a dark spell designed for a very specific purpose.

On the table in front of the hoaxer lay two rows of seven dolls. On the left hand side laid the life like effigies of Severus Snape, George Weasley, Hermione Granger, Seamus Finnegan, Vincent Crabbe, Millicent Bullstrode and Pansy Parkinson. In a line directly opposite the seven dolls were the life like effigies of Neville Longbottom, Fred Weasley, Madame Hooch, Justin Finch-Fletcher, Gregory Goyle, Susan George and Parvati Patil. In front of each effigy sat the sample the hoaxer had acquired off them earlier this evening, plus a small pipette containing spittle gathered magically when each of the fourteen answered the phone.

Picking up the effigy denoting Severus and placing the skin flake from Neville over its heart, the hoaxer tied Neville's effigy to the one of Snape using the single strand of black hair that was plucked from Severus' head earlier,

Following the same process the effigies of George and Fred Weasley were bound together, as were Hermione to Madame Hooch, Seamus to Justin, Vincent to Gregory, Millicent to Parvati and Pansy to Susan.

Each carving was bound to a vial and then neatly placed around a bubbling cauldron in a circle. The hoaxer started to cast the spell they had been leading up to all along. To the prepared base, the hoaxer added, three drops of vanilla oil, musk oil, frangipani oil and the spittle of the two effigies to be joined. As the spittle was added the final words were spoken over the cauldron, "Ingo iunxi iunctum a cupido."

As soon as the spell was finished the cauldron glowed red and the vials filled with a gas then the lids popping them selves back into place. The hoaxer did this seven times, once for each of the couples, and then dropped each of the vials carefully in the addressed envelopes on the side of the table.

Returning to the table, the hoaxer pulled a strand of their own hair and as before bound it to the effigy of a figure they had craved with sheer passion for so long. This eighth vial, the special one, was the real reason behind the others. All done, so the hoaxer could discretely get their man.

Leaving the astronomy tower, the hoaxer travelled to the owlry. After spending half an hour giving instructions to each owl in turn, making sure that they were synchronised and that the packages that they had would be delivered as directed in the mail run the next morning, the hoaxer went back to their dorm room, contented. The plan was working wonderfully, no one suspected them of involvement, and by this time tomorrow their life would be different.

Just like the previous day, breakfast in the Great Hall was a joyous occasion for most. The 14 pupils and teachers who had been affected the day before had decided that a prank was a prank and to just let it pass. Quite a few Early Risers had already sat and were alert and watchful for the Sleepy Risers to attend.

Again this morning was no different to any other; the hall was three quarters full and already bustling with talk of the possible connection between the names called out the previous suppertime. The hall was getting to capacity as all the Sleepy Risers were starting to drift in.

As always the last one to take his seat was watched by the first to always arrive in the hall. This was the way it had always been, Draco was sure that there was no way he could get near enough to ever see what makes the boy who drives him to orgasm, tick.

Harry sluggishly took his seat. With a couple of muttered, "I hate mornings," and other daily gripes he took his customary piece of already buttered toast. This morning, even Draco had to admit he looked as if he was still asleep.

Draco, feeling the actions of his secret fantasies still such a turn on, watched as Harry swallowed the warm buttery toast; secretly gasping as he saw the escaped butter roll off his bottom lip and drip seductively down his chin. Draco had watched this same half awake routine from the boy he had become infatuated with everyday for the last 6 months. But today he had told himself he was going to tell Harry Potter that he was his. Today Draco was going to get his man.

It's strange how some days work out differently to how one plans!

The first sign of the owl post brought the room to an eerie quiet.

Fourteen owls flying in formation being led by one large black owl with a white face, they swooped into the hall, flying its full length, and then split into two groups. One half banking left, the other half banking right; then swinging back around to continue the formation in the opposite direction.

Each owl held one envelope. Swooping down to the recipients of their master's request, it wasn't until the large black owl gave a HOOT, that they all held out a leg and the gift was delivered. Fourteen wizards delivered one parcel each at the exact same time.

Dumbledore not believing it coincidental. looked over his glasses at the actions at the first of the fourteen to reach for his letter. He witnessed the envelope evaporate as it did for the remaining thirteen and a sound could be heard over the bustle that was threatening the quiet. The room fell silent.

"Ingo iunxi iunctum a cupido." The voice sounded foreign, almost Slavic in its tones,Dumbledore thought on hearing it, translating the incantation in his head.

Suddenly the vials, that appeared empty at first glance, popped their own corks. Seven different coloured plumes of smoke were seen rising out of the vials. Dumbledore reached for his wand but held back waiting to see what happened. He remembered that he had witnessed a ritual like this a century ago at Stonehenge. Could it be the same fertility ritual that he had once seen all those years ago?

Plumes of coloured smoke rose into the air. Red. Purple. Green. Yellow. Blue. Pink. And, finally, grey. Snake like strands of smoke twirled and floated around the room looking for their owner, then meeting in the middle of the hall and in a flash of light returning to the person they were intended.

"Nobody make any sudden moves. I believe the smoke strands are not harmful to any of you. I believe they are meant solely as fertility gifts for those intended."

His proclamation was met with a mixed response. Most noticeably, Snape and Neville both got up to escape the possibility of being involved further. It was as if the smoke knew its target as the purple gas travelled around the room and then shot light arrows straight at them, entering them both through the nose. The effects of the smoke making both, boy and man, pass out.

Others in the fourteen attempted the same except Greg and Vince, who just ignored it, and Hermione, only because she was wedged in between Seamus and Ron. The same process repeated in sequence. As the smoke shot around the room coloured gaseous snakes entering there intended target.

Grey to Fred and George, causing gasps around the hall. Green, not surprisingly, to Seamus and Justin. Pink to Vince and Greg, causing several Slytherins to smirk knowingly. Yellow to Pansy and Susan, causing wonderings of who would have picked that match. Red to Millicent and Parvati. Groans of "ewwww" heard throughout. Blue to Hermione and Hooch, Causing Hermione to slink even lower on the bench seat.

Panic set in as pupils made there way to the main doors to escape this black magic. Dumbledore, along with the other teachers on the head table, were attending to those that had been over taken by the fertility draft.

Draco searched the room for Harry. He had managed to disappear all of a sudden, Draco caught sight of him at the main door. Harry was leaving and seemingly in a hurry. Draco wondered where he could be going in such a rush.

'There is only one way to find out,' Draco thought as he stood to follow. Just as he was about to leave the table an owl swooped in and dropped a beautifully wrapped box into his hands with a hoot the owl took off again. Draco looked at the card on the box - just two words…

**_To Draco_**.

He opened the box and carefully folded the red, silver and green silk fabric covering and put it in his pocket. All around him teachers were attending to the slumped figures of the fourteen victims. Nobody, not even Blaise, noticed that Draco got a late delivery. He opened the box and took out the contents, a beautiful crystal vial the colours changing as the light caught it. On receipt of Draco's touch the vial sprang open and the gas, a mixture of silver and gold, left the hall.

Draco made a run for it. He needed to catch up with this trail. He needed to know who had sent it. The smoke trail stayed two feet in front of Draco the entire journey through the school hallways until it passed through the door to the Room of Requirement.

Stepping into the room Draco's eyes were drawn to a huge four-poster bed with black silk sheets, and red velvet pillow furnishings. In the shadows of the far corner of the room a man shuffled just out of view. The gases from their vials meeting in the middle of the room and then shooting towards both men. Draco slumped forward just as the other person in the room did the same.

Falling on to the bed the last thing Draco saw before he lost consciousness was the object of his desire… the hoaxer… Harry Potter.

"Hello there, where are we?"

Draco asked, mimicking a cat in his first stretch of the day. Lying next to him on the bed in the Room of Requirements was the object of every desire he had ever had. Harry Potter.

Draco thought on about the night before. and how the elaborate plan the hoaxer, Harry, had executed, to seemingly get his man Draco, into bed. Harry Potter had, over a period of 24 hours played a trick on 8 couples in the school. Using elfin magic combined with strong aphrodisiac potions, he'd brewed a potion that would seek out a person's natural love. To keep the fact that Harry knew each person in the drama had deep-seated desire's for their, 'now' mate, the devious Lion had concocted the plan to make it appear there was an outside influence to it all.

Of course, there was not. Harry had for the longest time imaginable fancied Draco Malfoy. The longer his desire for the Slytherin built up within him, the harder it became to concentrate on his schoolwork and friendships. He was in a sleepy cocoon of Draconess, all thoughts for over a year centred on 'his' beautiful Slytherin.

Yet, nobody knew. Harry was so skilled at hiding his emotions behind the veil of narcolepsy, that not even his best friends knew he was in love. More to the point he didn't notice that if he had just smiled once he would have been inundated with as much Draco as he could have hoped for.

Turning over slightly to face his Gryffindor dreamboat, Draco gazed into his emerald green eyes, realising that from just a foot away, they were even more beautiful that he had thought before.

"It was you all along then?"

"Yes," Harry replied with a certain amount of shame in his voice.

"Why, the theatrics? Not that they weren't amusing, but why did you do the Muggle communication device, and all the hoopla?"

"To claim you." Desperation was in Harry's voice, he hadn't given any thought to how he would react to Draco when his planned seduction had either worked or failed.

"You wanted me?" Draco's startled expression and voice giving Harry a glimmer of hope that the plan may work. Draco didn't appear to be annoyed; on the contrary, he looked flattered.

"You mean to tell me that you drugged half of the year so that you would be able to claim me as your own. Without anyone knowing it was you? I'm impressed, that is very Slytherin of you, Harry."

Harry's eyes grew wide at the sound of his name purring off the red lips of the boy he had fought so hard with over the years. As time had gone on, he'd found that the passion he had for Draco had switched from hate to love.

"I saw all the others meeting up in secret, or desperately in love with each other and too scared to act. Just like I would watch you and wonder what it would be like to be here, with you -"

Draco moved a little closer to Harry, their faces just inches away.

"But, it didn't work."

"What do you mean? It didn't work? I'm here, aren't I? Surely that shows it worked?"

"Not really; the bonding potion was always going to knock us out."

"Oh, then what should have happened, Harry?"

"We should have woken to an overwhelming need to make love to each other," Harry softly said.

"You seem to be just as normal as always, so I must have done something wrong!"

"Is that potion designed for people in lust as a means of firing their love, or is it a way of igniting their lust?"

"Both, I thought…"

"Then, that's why all it has done to me, is give me a rather restful sleep. I've been in love with you for longer than I care to mention. Lust, you don't want to know what lusting I've done over you these past five years. I think your little potion couldn't have made my feelings any more intense then they already were."

Draco got off the bed, reached for his wand and spelled the room to keep any noise in, and any guests out. Turning to Harry he started to slowly undress.

"Draco, what are you doing?" asked Harry, internally kicking himself for the stupidity of the question, finding that the erection that was begging to be set free on his Slytherin dream would calm down slightly.

Draco's naked form crawled seductively atop Harry and claiming Harry's mouth in their first-ever kiss replied to his query.

"Finishing off what you started my love."

The End.

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